In this article, we will look at the most common mistakes people make on dates, and how to avoid them. Some are funny, some are serious, but all of them can make the difference between a good first impression and a “thanks, but no thanks.”
1. Talking only about yourself
We all want to share who we are, but a date is not a monologue. Imagine sitting in a movie where the main character never stops talking about their job, their car, their cat… and never asks a question. Boring, right?
The golden rule: listen as much as you talk. Ask open questions like, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?” or “What’s your favorite childhood memory?”
Psychologist Dale Carnegie, in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People, explains that showing genuine interest in others creates stronger connections than any “impressive” story about yourself.
2. Arriving late without warning
Being late happens — traffic, work, life. But showing up late with no message says: “My time is more important than yours.” That’s not a good first impression.
If you are running behind, a simple text like “Stuck in traffic, so sorry! I’ll be there in 10 minutes” shows respect. Small gestures build trust.
3. Checking your phone all the time
Few things kill the vibe faster than someone scrolling Instagram while you’re sharing a story. Unless you’re waiting for a call from NASA about your secret astronaut mission 🚀, keep your phone in your pocket or bag.
Eye contact and presence are more romantic than any emoji.
4. Drinking too much
A glass of wine or a beer can help you relax, but turning the date into a drinking competition is a classic fail. Too much alcohol can lead to embarrassing stories, loud talking, or worse — forgetting what happened.
Moderation = confidence. And confidence is attractive.
5. Complaining constantly
Yes, life can be hard. But if the date turns into a therapy session about your evil boss, your noisy neighbor, or your broken washing machine, it drains the mood.
Everyone has problems. Save the heavy complaints for close friends or your actual therapist. First dates are about connection, not negative energy.
6. Ignoring boundaries
Some people joke too much, ask very personal questions, or try to touch too soon. Respect is key.
Psychologist Deborah Tannen reminds us in her research on communication that people connect best when they feel safe. Always read the signals — if your date looks uncomfortable, step back.
7. Forgetting basic manners
Simple things matter: saying please and thank you, being kind to the waiter, holding the door. These small actions show more about your character than any speech.
Red flag: being rude to staff. If someone treats strangers badly, it’s a sign they may do the same later in the relationship.
8. Talking too much about exes
It’s natural to have a past, but a first date is not the right place for a long discussion about your ex. It makes the other person feel like they are in a competition.
If the topic comes up, keep it short and respectful, then move on. Focus on the present, not the past.
9. Forgetting to show interest
Some people try so hard to be “cool” that they forget to show they actually like the other person. Smiling, nodding, giving small compliments — these signals show you’re engaged.
A date without signs of interest feels like a business meeting. And unless you’re hiring each other, that’s not the goal 😅.
10. Setting unrealistic expectations
Expecting the date to be perfect is one of the biggest mistakes. Movies teach us that chemistry is instant, but in real life, it often takes time.
Don’t panic if the conversation has some pauses or if it feels a bit awkward. That’s normal. The goal is not perfection — it’s connection.
In general,
Dating is less about “performance” and more about being present, curious, and respectful. Avoiding these simple mistakes can make your date smoother and more enjoyable.
Remember: you don’t need to be flawless, you just need to be real. As John Gottman, one of the leading researchers on relationships, says: “What matters most is not perfection, but the quality of emotional connection.”
So relax, smile, and focus on the person in front of you — not on avoiding every small mistake. A little authenticity goes further than any script.
